It’s so funny: no two butches or femme lesbians are 100% alike, and yet our relationship dynamics seem all made with the same printer. What a fantastic episode!
Can’t make everybody happy, though, can we? It’s great that more butch & femme lesbians that are radical feminists or aligned to that are speaking up. We exist and we need to show it.
Lately I've been a little frustrated with lesbians talking about why they are not trans or focusing on gender and I have been lamenting that the conversations aren't more about celebrating being lesbians. This interview is a step in the celebrating direction. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this conversation.
idk Carol, I think we need to discuss the sexual & romantic component since, by definition, lesbian means a sexual attraction between women (which, for the longest time has been taboo)? I was a young tomboy whose parents never talked about sex (the onset of my period was a surprise & traumatic). Didn’t conform as a kid, and less so growing older since I grew very tall & big (boys & men generally don’t want to be seen with such types, romantically). So, ‘butch’ if you will.
I’d been slurred often enough (‘dyke!’ ‘lesbian!’) that when I saw a storefront for a gay organization I screwed up some courage to go in (was very nervous!) Mind you, still sexually naive at this time. Guess I preferred to be associated with the oppressed rather than the mean, slandering people. Into the gay & lesbian world (bars, feminist bookstores, etc) I eventually developed a raging passion — for a woman!
I’m of the opinion that, if society were freer (big if!) many more would have lovely same sex encounters (perhaps eventually settling into monogamous relationships with same or opposite sex). You can try and link this with ‘born this way’ if you’re inclined (many are) but I think it’s an empirical question (e.g., do lesbian identifying women tend to have higher testosterone levels, for instance)? I think the answer is certainly not so simple.
Anyway, thanks (again!) For putting this out there 💕 😘!
I am in a butch/femme relationship and I'm also a radical feminist so I found this discussion really interesting. I did stay at home and raise our children while my partner worked, so in that sense we were traditional. But I'm the bug killer and the financial controller, and our domestic chores are based around our interests rather than a 'male/female' role. I was also the 'chaser' as she would never have made a move otherwise - interesting that it seems to be common in butch/femme couples.
It’s so funny: no two butches or femme lesbians are 100% alike, and yet our relationship dynamics seem all made with the same printer. What a fantastic episode!
It’s true, and I would love to go into the romantic sexual component of this. But I suspect if I do it will piss off the radfems. 😬
Can’t make everybody happy, though, can we? It’s great that more butch & femme lesbians that are radical feminists or aligned to that are speaking up. We exist and we need to show it.
This is true
I love this. I love that Kim returned.
Lately I've been a little frustrated with lesbians talking about why they are not trans or focusing on gender and I have been lamenting that the conversations aren't more about celebrating being lesbians. This interview is a step in the celebrating direction. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this conversation.
idk Carol, I think we need to discuss the sexual & romantic component since, by definition, lesbian means a sexual attraction between women (which, for the longest time has been taboo)? I was a young tomboy whose parents never talked about sex (the onset of my period was a surprise & traumatic). Didn’t conform as a kid, and less so growing older since I grew very tall & big (boys & men generally don’t want to be seen with such types, romantically). So, ‘butch’ if you will.
I’d been slurred often enough (‘dyke!’ ‘lesbian!’) that when I saw a storefront for a gay organization I screwed up some courage to go in (was very nervous!) Mind you, still sexually naive at this time. Guess I preferred to be associated with the oppressed rather than the mean, slandering people. Into the gay & lesbian world (bars, feminist bookstores, etc) I eventually developed a raging passion — for a woman!
I’m of the opinion that, if society were freer (big if!) many more would have lovely same sex encounters (perhaps eventually settling into monogamous relationships with same or opposite sex). You can try and link this with ‘born this way’ if you’re inclined (many are) but I think it’s an empirical question (e.g., do lesbian identifying women tend to have higher testosterone levels, for instance)? I think the answer is certainly not so simple.
Anyway, thanks (again!) For putting this out there 💕 😘!
I am in a butch/femme relationship and I'm also a radical feminist so I found this discussion really interesting. I did stay at home and raise our children while my partner worked, so in that sense we were traditional. But I'm the bug killer and the financial controller, and our domestic chores are based around our interests rather than a 'male/female' role. I was also the 'chaser' as she would never have made a move otherwise - interesting that it seems to be common in butch/femme couples.